every now and then you hear someone is chasing happiness, but happiness is not something to be chased. I mean I should know since my experience with battling depression has shown me that.

To many people create their own definitions of what being happy is supposed to be, or they let someone else do it for them, but in either case it still leads down the same road.

9 years ago, I knew I wasn’t happy. I didn’t know why, or how things got the way they were, but they did. No one taught me about depression so I figured I was going crazy. I simply knew I wasn’t the same person I was before and so began my search for a happier life.

No one would listen to me, but why would they, when I nor them knew what I was going through. My parents would probably just think I was crazy like my father’s brother back in Haiti.

When those around you don’t think logically and think everything has to do with some type of force, you don’t get the help you need or the comfort that could help.

I chased material objects, women, false friendships and drugs helped me down the road, but that was mainly because those around me were doing it.

My depression has been one of my biggest curses, but it has also been one of my biggest blessings as well. I see things in ways that others cannot and I have conquered most of it to feel and smile again.

No matter what you are going through or have gone through, I want to give you these steps to help you, help yourself to smile again.

Find what causes you pain

If you can find what makes you unhappy, you are taking a greater step than finding what makes you happy.

The things that cause you the most pain can sometimes be the hardest to let go. Because relationships, friendships, and family members, people we care dearly about are the ones that cause us the most pain.

You owe it to yourself to be happy, and if that means distancing yourself or eliminating some of these people from your life you should.

Some people have work and bills that causes them stress and letting close ones hurt you is not something you need.

I stopped talking to childhood friends, family members and much more because I want to surround myself with people who want the best for me, not those that want to use, abuse, and toss me aside.

Meet someone new

Don’t try and be to yourself. We are social beings that need companionships to laugh and play.  If the people in your life are toxic or things seem to be getting dull, go out and make new friends.

Finding someone new to smile with and share your story is a great way to feel like you are starting new. Someone that shares similar goals and beliefs.

Old friends that turn toxic prepare you for new friends.

Forgive your past

It’s easy to hate, but it takes real strength to learn to forgive those that has hurt you.

Hate is like shackles that tie you down to the past. While the people that have hurt you have moved on and are living a happy life, you’ll waste yours in what no longer exists.

To be free. You must first free yourself from any guilt by forgiving yourself and only then will you be able to unlock the shackles that bind you to the past.


The point of life is not to chase happiness, but to be the best you. So stop chasing after expectations and tolerating hurt from people that have no idea what it means to be happy.

All that you need to have a happier life you already have, don’t waste time complaining but strive to be better than you were yesterday and stop living based off expectations.

Apply these simple steps, help someone in need and happiness will come to you.

How To Stop Chasing Happiness In 3 Easy Steps