I was a very happy child growing up until I moved to the U.S with my mother and father.  Life slapped me hard and the pain stayed for 9 years.

When you don’t know much about anything because no one ever thought you, you end up learning things the hard way.

I spiraled into a deep depression with thoughts of suicide and the once happy child was no more. For the first time I could see the pain in people’s faces as clear as day and being around them didn’t help much either.

I suffered from depression and thoughts of suicide for 9 years without knowing what it was, thinking I was crazy, but I want to tell you what you can do to rid most of the pain, and the one thing that took away 95% of mine.

Find the right people to be around

Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Some people are their temporarily. You must learn to distance or eliminate some people in your life. That could mean best friends and possibly loved ones because the ones closest to you are the ones who bring the most pain. It’s because they are close that they choose to hurt you. They know how much they mean to you and use that negatively.

You must surround yourself with people who will uplift you. people that’ll smile with you and bring positive news to your ears and make you want to jump for the sky.

If you have people in your life right now that are toxic, please, distance yourself. Stress kills and depression is not something you want to live with. Once it comes, it’s there forever. You only have one life so choose to live it happily.

Learn how to forgive

I wanted to place this after surround yourself with positive people because they go well together.

For many years I carried a lot of hate in my heart, and it only made my depression worst. I hated my father for bringing me to the U.S and leaving, then bragging to every soul about what he did. I hated my mother for kicking me out for trying to defend my sister from her abusive boyfriend. A lot of people hurt me because I’m kind-hearted and gullible, and it was slowly eating me.

It took until I turned  22 to learn how to forgive. As I practiced forgiving people for their wrongs I felt my shoulders lift. I felt lighter. I felt happier. The demons of despair backed off and it felt amazing. I’m even able to be in the same room with people I used to hate so much.

It may not feel like things will change just by forgiving someone, but it will. but the most important person who deserves your forgiveness is yourself. When you can forgive yourself, you can forgive anyone.

Look for the good in all things

Life is a matter of habits. The more you practice something the easier it will get.

no matter where you are in life, you must look for the good in the things around you. You can’t always control the chaos that’s happening around you, but you can control your emotions .

On stressful days, I would take walks to clear my mind. One day I stopped midway in my steps to a yellow flower that grew in the cracks of the road. I bent down and thought “If this flower can grow though the odds that are against it, then I should be able to do the same.”

At times when you can’t inspire yourself, you can find the good around you to inspire you.

Help someone who needs it

It’s amazing how we could be in our own pain, but still want to help someone else.

If you want to smile, help someone who needs it. The smile you bring to their face will make you happy inside.

Sometimes the best way to help yourself is to simply help someone else.

Exercise more

I won’t lie. I went from 140 to 260 pounds. and that’s not baby fat. I checked. Men don’t get baby fat. 🙂

A lot of things can make you gain weight and gaining weight will throw more things out of balance.

The heavier you get, the harder your heart must work to pump blood through your body. you will become sluggish and brain functions will decline as well as stress levels increasing.

It’s important to exercise, even if it’s just a walk.  Doing just a few minutes of exercise a day and eating breakfast in the morning can help regulate many issues such as stress, weight gain and many more.

Conclusion

Fighting depression or finding the need to be happy doesn’t happen overnight. You must continuously work at it, and piece by piece it will start to show.

I chose to remain medication free because doctors would just tell me that I’m a nut and prescribe me medication that would subdue the issue, until the pills were done and I had to go back for more.

I applied these five steps to my life and it worked, but the number one thing that took away 95% of my depression is I found my purpose, something to go after and keep me busy.

Sometimes it’s the people around you and a lot of the time it’s the place you have to be at for 8 hours. Re-evaluate yourself and where you work. If it causes you pain, then maybe it’s time you find something else or find your calling and work on it on the side.

I hope this helps someone that needs it. Don’t fight your battles alone. You have people like me to guide you, along with many others who would be happy to answer questions you have in the comments.