We all do this. Whether it’s conscious or not, it happens to the best of us.
We care so much about what others are thinking about us. We believe we know what others are thinking, and we subsequently live our lives giving those beliefs much weight.
Whether we are hosting a party and only a handful of people show up, we are standing alone at a business cocktail event, or we are in a Facebook group of other entrepreneurs and wondering what others must be thinking about our lack of participation (due to having nothing at all worthwhile to share).
we get stuck in fear of others judgments which blocks ourselves from living our lives to our greatest potential.
Whether we get stuck in something personal or business related, anxious thoughts can unintentionally arise in our minds, such as:
- I bet everyone thinks this party I am hosting is the worst party ever
- I’m positive everyone is thinking I’m a loser
- I’m sure everyone is thinking I’m self-righteous due to my inability to engage in this group – I’m never going to be a successful entrepreneur.
We don’t mean to have these thoughts. They just emerge and clutter minds uninvited. And then, we act on them as if they were 100% accurate. We allow our minds to rent out space for such limiting beliefs even though we rationally know they work against us.
We know they prevent us from being in the moment and living our lives to our greatest potential, and yet we still believe and act on them. We allow ourselves to hijacked by our emotions, rather than take a stand to take back our lives.
Here are 5 reasons to stop caring what others think of you.
1. You never even really know what others are thinking anyway.
We spend much of our waking hours making assumptions about what others are thinking about us. “She thinks I’m rude.” “He likes how I look today.” “They think I have so much self-confidence.” Whether those assumptions are positive or negative, we tend to attach ourselves to those assumptions and live our lives accordingly.
Sometimes those assumptions can motivate us, yet most of the time, those assumptions hold us back. And the irony? We have no clue what others are thinking about us (unless they actually tell us, which most of the time, they don’t). You can consider you have no clue what others are thinking about you. Moreover, you can consider what others are thinking about you is most likely not true anyway.
2. Even if you know what others are thinking, whose problem is it anyway?
Let’s say you know for a fact someone is judging the way you look. Whose problem is it anyway? And, why should you make it your problem? Think about, if someone is holding judgment against you, why should you be carrying that stress? It’s not your problem. It’s not your issue. You can consider you are separate from that person and you do not need to carry their emotions on your shoulder.
3. When you give so much to others’ opinions, you relinquish your power.
You have the power to choose how you wish to respond in any given situation. Yet, when you base your decision on what others think about you (or what you assume they think about you), you immediately lose your power.
You hand all of your power over to the other person and act like a puppet instead of a puppeteer. You can consider you can maintain your power as your birthright without letting others take that away from you.
4. Our behavior patterns become our habits.
When you allow yourself to believe what others are thinking (even though you have no clue what others are thinking) that behavior can turn into a habit.
Typically, the things that trigger us in our lives are not unfamiliar. In other words, your concern about what others think about you is probably nothing new. In fact, this may be an unresolved worry that you may have been carrying around with you for years. And now, your preoccupation with what others think about you has now become a habit.
You can consider that when you change your thinking pattern, you will be able to stop the cycle of fear and anxiety that has been interrupting your life and keeping you from living your best life.
5. You only have a limited time on this earth. Live it up.
When we spend time (minutes, hours, weeks or months) agonizing over what others may be thinking of us, we waste precious time on this earth.
Each of us are privileged to be bringing our own special gifts to this world, and yes, when we busy ourselves with others’ concerns or judgments, we lose precious opportunities to show up in this world.
In any given moment that we are preoccupied with someone else’s thinking, we could be shining in someone else’s eyes. The next time you’re concerned with someone else’s thoughts, you can consider closing your eyes, taking a deep breath, and living in this very moment – rather than living in future thoughts of “what ifs”?
All of us tend to get stuck in fear of what others think of us. No matter if you are young or old, educated or not, male or female, there’s a natural human tendency for all of us to slip into assuming what others think about us, and in doing so, we forfeit living our best lives.
We all have the ability to consciously choose to get unstuck from such worries and concerns and create our lives to be as rich and rewarding as they can and should be.
Do you have problems when it comes to what others think of you? Let’s solve it together in the comments, or you can message me using the contact page.