For a vast majority of your life, you’ve been told to do what makes you happy. And so for your life, you’ve been on the pursuit of happiness. When you were younger, you were easily appeased, like finally being able to stay up past ten. But as time continued, your views on what happiness should be skewed.
As a teen, it was do I have enough friends? Am I popular enough? Does Jimmy from Ms. Scott’s class like me back? As teens, our happiness tends to come from what others think of us and whether or not we’re accepted by their standards.
Our opinions of ourselves seem to matter less and less while the opinions of others start to matter more and more.
Okay, so we’ve been through the childhood and the teenage years and finally, we make it into the adult world. A world where it’s pretty much like high school except this time, you’re actually getting paid to wake up early and deal with people you probably don’t like.
If you were one of those people in high school who really didn’t care what others think, then good for you. But if you were one of those people who cared too much of what people thought about you, then the transition into adulthood can be a little tricky.
Either way, if you feel like you’ve lost your happiness and looking for some tips on how to get it back, you’re in luck because I’ve taken the time to write a few problems below and how to solve them.
1. Not Speaking Up
Maybe it’s that you don’t want to cause a scene or that you feel like your opinions are too small to matter or that you’re just too shy to speak up. Whatever the case may be, something is preventing you from speaking up about a matter you feel strongly against. This constant silence and your unhappiness have a high correlation.
If something is causing you discomfort, then it’s time to speak up about it. Who cares if you cause a scene? If causing a scene is what will finally get some change in the situation, then go for it.
I know it’s hard speaking up, but being silent is even worse. You have to make your stance known on the matter and let them know exactly how you feel. Breaking your silence can help open the doors to your happiness.
2. Focusing too Much on Technology
We go on our phones more than fifty times a day. I mean, the thing is always in our hands and never too faraway. For some, leaving their phones gives them a high level of separation anxiety. If you’re someone who constantly checks your phone, then not only are you increasing your stress levels but you’re also decreasing your happiness.
I know, I know. It’s hard. It’s like leaving your arm at home. But taking a break from your phone can really be what you need.
Take a deep breath before you turn it off and stash it in a safe place. Now, relax and unwind. Play some music and dance. Or you can finally read a book made with actual paper. I know. Crazy idea, right? But if I were you, I wouldn’t knock it before I tried it.
3. Holding Yourself to Other People’s Standards
In today’s society, it’s easy to get caught up in the gist of things. We become so focused on what’s going on in others lives that we forget to pay attention to our own. We become emerged in what others think of us and start measuring ourselves by their standards, instead of our own.
Susan and Jack from high school are married and have a kid on the way while you’re still looking for the right person. So what? It’s better to take the time finding the right one then to rush into a relationship anyways. But you go on Facebook and see, like, half the girls from high school are about to be engaged or are doing “great” things.
It stresses you out and makes you feel like you’re not doing enough with your life, but the thing is you are. Don’t judge what’s good based off of what you see on social media. More than likely, things aren’t as good as they seem.
Nevertheless, you shouldn’t be measuring yourself by the accomplishments of others. And if you’re constantly doing this, your happiness is sure to dwindle. Instead, focus on what makes you happy and if that’s ordering takeout while watching Law and Order reruns on Friday nights then so be it.
Life is filled with bumpy roads and traffic that will slow you down from reaching the destination of happiness. There will be plenty of times where you’ll reach dead ends but don’t panic, just breathe. Check your surroundings, think about all the ways you can reach your destination from your location, and reverse your car.
If you feel like you’re always getting tangled up in the depths of your own despair, use this plan to help you find the right direction and get back on the right path.